（ he'll be there at a good clip. sure, there's chaos to navigate but gene's a fair hand at calmin' it when he finds it. don't take him too long to get there, an' then shortly thereafter he's knockin' at ellie's door. ）
[It's both comforting and a queer ache in her heart -- he's said that to her both in the Aerie and outside of it now, but it hurts to wonder how he means it.
She has all these memories of a person she was, but... wasn't. How many are true for Gene? It's not fair to hold him to those memories, but it doesn't mean she doesn't need to see him right now like she needs to breathe.
She opens up the door- and she has so many more scars on her face than he's used to. She waves him inside, but the breath all seems to catch in her throat as she presses the door closed. Her voice is hoarse but level.]
（ what's more real? the girl he's known, spoken to a handful of times, who's battered an' scarred up an' hard in ways the little girl he knew in the aerie wasn't just yet?
he looks at her a moment, an' lord help him but he doesn't know. but it don't make those feelings any less — built up over years of trust an' care an' love an' god help him but there ain't an atom in him that'd deny 'em.
what he does know is that he wants to hug her. he holds an arm out, an invitation for her to step in closer, but he don't push. wouldn't. not here, not in the aerie, not ever. ）
[Had it been back in New Amsterdam before it all, Ellie might've awkwardly patted his arm, found some way to brush off being close. Even now, she hesitates. But there are years of memories here even if they don't all mesh with reality, and is who they are so very far off from what happened to them?
Maybe it's best if they don't think on it too hard.
So Ellie hisses out a breath between her teeth and steps into his arms, burying her face in his shoulder and breathing out. Some small part of her mourns the sense of safety and peace this used to make her feel. But the steadiness of him still calms something in her, and even more surprising, she lets it. Lets him.]
[Leaning against him, Ellie empties her lungs out completely. They get flashes of the empathy bond, little snippets of the touch, but here hair's grown in much thicker, now. She's shaken up, but she'll be all right. She's determined to be all right.
And currently she's more concerned for him; he saw her get hit. Her arms are thin, her grip secure around him, and she just breathes.]
（ when and where his emotions come through, they're — muted, almost. gene has cultivated a sense of calm in the storm before damn near all else in his life, an' it's there, but it's almost as if there's somethin' hollow in it.
the rest of it's just feelin' real tired.
the aerie ain't altogether worse than the war. it just ain't. but he was a different man, less well equipped to handle what happened than a fella that speaks to the dead. it's a lot all at once, even if he's determined to withstand it.
he does peel back a bit, at length. givin' her a bit of space an' emotional privacy. ）
[Ellie doesn't move too far, when Gene pulls back. As much as she's relied on him through years of memories of things that didn't actually happen, she's protective of him now.
It sucks to die. To see someone you care about die is a different story. And Ellie knows what it is to bury everything. It doesn't always work.]
A few. I'm going to go find Glimmer, and Lance. Checking in with some of the others on the network. Still some missing, so they must still be... stuck, I guess.
（ it's an automatic thing, but he says it with such quiet earnest that it's harder to disbelieve. he's used to bein' a safe harbour for more than just her — it's second nature now. ）
Given how things go here — I know you ain't been here as long as I have — my guess is they'll get out sooner or later. Wanna go check on their apartments just in case?
（ he ain't refrainin' from usin' names on account of any lack of trust, or what-have-you. it's more that he's got so many people he wants to look in on that if he listed them off one-by-one they'd be here a time.
ellie was first, but he's seen her now — the rest can follow. ）
We ought to check in at Red Wings, too. Most everyone that's back will probably get to congregatin' there.
[Ellie nods, understanding- Gene's always been friendly- and she breaks that train of thought. He is friendly with the other displaced. Warm and kind and well-liked. He probably has a lot of people that mean something to him.]
I figure we'll all meet up there eventually, once we're done checking.
（ screw that, he tugs her in for a full-on hug. it's easy enough she could break outta it if she really wanted to, but it's tight enough to impart the sentiment that's carried over from the aerie — that he cares for her so damn deeply. ）
I will. You too, yeah? Check in on the regular. If you need help lookin' for someone, I'll come quick as I can.
[She sees it coming, but she still gives a small gasp as he pulls her in against him, her eyelashes fluttering, then closing as she relaxes gratefully against him. Her fingers fist into the back of his clothes.]
（ memories or not, gene's always been the sort to take others in. he raised up his three brothers pretty much from nothin'. an' bein' a medic naturally meant bein' a caretaker just the same in the war. takin' in jackie, too, brought that out in him.
but it still feels real. those feelings, the desire to protect her an' ensure she ain't met with no harm. he can respect her autonomy an' strength an' still worry, which is why he forces himself to let her go with a playful, fond ruffle of her hair. ）
Let's head on out, then. An' I'll owe you a dinner later.
[The gesture is affectionate, feels familiar as anything, even if he's never technically done it before. She has memories, even if they didn't really happen.
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@ellie.miller
Date: 2020-12-17 04:03 am (UTC)Gene? You there??
no subject
Date: 2020-12-17 04:30 am (UTC)Where are you?
no subject
Date: 2020-12-17 04:34 am (UTC)You safe?
[Map pin blip- she doesn't think twice about it at this point.]
no subject
Date: 2020-12-17 04:49 am (UTC)I'll come to you. Sit tight.
no subject
Date: 2020-12-17 05:02 am (UTC)Be careful on the way over. People are showing up and they're not happy.
no subject
Date: 2020-12-17 05:45 am (UTC)Keep a light on.
（ he'll be there at a good clip. sure, there's chaos to navigate but gene's a fair hand at calmin' it when he finds it. don't take him too long to get there, an' then shortly thereafter he's knockin' at ellie's door. ）
no subject
Date: 2020-12-17 05:00 pm (UTC)She has all these memories of a person she was, but... wasn't. How many are true for Gene? It's not fair to hold him to those memories, but it doesn't mean she doesn't need to see him right now like she needs to breathe.
She opens up the door- and she has so many more scars on her face than he's used to. She waves him inside, but the breath all seems to catch in her throat as she presses the door closed. Her voice is hoarse but level.]
... holy shit.
no subject
Date: 2020-12-18 12:27 am (UTC)he looks at her a moment, an' lord help him but he doesn't know. but it don't make those feelings any less — built up over years of trust an' care an' love an' god help him but there ain't an atom in him that'd deny 'em.
what he does know is that he wants to hug her. he holds an arm out, an invitation for her to step in closer, but he don't push. wouldn't. not here, not in the aerie, not ever. ）
I know, I know. It's a damn mess.
no subject
Date: 2020-12-18 12:36 am (UTC)Maybe it's best if they don't think on it too hard.
So Ellie hisses out a breath between her teeth and steps into his arms, burying her face in his shoulder and breathing out. Some small part of her mourns the sense of safety and peace this used to make her feel. But the steadiness of him still calms something in her, and even more surprising, she lets it. Lets him.]
When isn't it?
no subject
Date: 2020-12-18 12:48 am (UTC)（ he folds her into his arms. leans his cheek against the crown of her hair. ）
Hell, girl. I'm sorry.
（ that he couldn't save her. couldn't help her. maybe that the whole thing happened at all. ）
no subject
Date: 2020-12-18 07:03 pm (UTC)And currently she's more concerned for him; he saw her get hit. Her arms are thin, her grip secure around him, and she just breathes.]
S'okay.
[It's not okay. But it will be, at some point.]
no subject
Date: 2020-12-20 06:48 pm (UTC)the rest of it's just feelin' real tired.
the aerie ain't altogether worse than the war. it just ain't. but he was a different man, less well equipped to handle what happened than a fella that speaks to the dead. it's a lot all at once, even if he's determined to withstand it.
he does peel back a bit, at length. givin' her a bit of space an' emotional privacy. ）
You heard from your other folk yet?
no subject
Date: 2020-12-21 04:22 am (UTC)It sucks to die. To see someone you care about die is a different story. And Ellie knows what it is to bury everything. It doesn't always work.]
A few. I'm going to go find Glimmer, and Lance. Checking in with some of the others on the network. Still some missing, so they must still be... stuck, I guess.
Fuck.
no subject
Date: 2021-01-01 01:13 am (UTC)（ it's an automatic thing, but he says it with such quiet earnest that it's harder to disbelieve. he's used to bein' a safe harbour for more than just her — it's second nature now. ）
Given how things go here — I know you ain't been here as long as I have — my guess is they'll get out sooner or later. Wanna go check on their apartments just in case?
no subject
Date: 2021-01-01 10:29 pm (UTC)[It will be, even if it's a bit shitty right now. She eyes him, making sure he believes it, and squares her shoulders.]
Yeah, I'm gonna. Who do you need to check on?
no subject
Date: 2021-01-02 08:16 pm (UTC)（ he ain't refrainin' from usin' names on account of any lack of trust, or what-have-you. it's more that he's got so many people he wants to look in on that if he listed them off one-by-one they'd be here a time.
ellie was first, but he's seen her now — the rest can follow. ）
We ought to check in at Red Wings, too. Most everyone that's back will probably get to congregatin' there.
no subject
Date: 2021-01-03 04:35 am (UTC)I figure we'll all meet up there eventually, once we're done checking.
[She lays a hand on his sleeve.]
Be safe out there.
no subject
Date: 2021-01-10 02:36 am (UTC)I will. You too, yeah? Check in on the regular. If you need help lookin' for someone, I'll come quick as I can.
no subject
Date: 2021-01-10 10:36 pm (UTC)Right back atcha.
no subject
Date: 2021-01-11 01:53 am (UTC)but it still feels real. those feelings, the desire to protect her an' ensure she ain't met with no harm. he can respect her autonomy an' strength an' still worry, which is why he forces himself to let her go with a playful, fond ruffle of her hair. ）
Let's head on out, then. An' I'll owe you a dinner later.
no subject
Date: 2021-01-11 02:52 am (UTC)And together, they head out.]